Article by L.Michael Hall, Ph.D. Neuro-Semantics Executive Director Neuro-Semantics International
I have studied with L. Michael Hall and found this article on persuasion gave real insight into a large part of our role in WHS, that of persuasion.
“But what if I don’t want to persuade?” “What if I think that the whole question about persuasion is unethical, and I want to opt out. What then?”
The answer to this is an answer the questioner probably does not want to hear: You do not have a choice. To the extent that you are alive, that you talk, that you are around other people, that you communicate—you persuade. You are inevitably influencing people. It is built into the very fabric of social life. So just as you cannot not communication, so you cannot not persuade. Your very presence, your smiling or frowning, will create an influence and will persuade people about something— you like them, or you don’t, you are happy or sad or upset or something. If you fold your arms and stay in the back— you are sending out a message and thereby influencing people to think and feel something about you. In this, you cannot escape persuasion!
The question is not whether you persuade or not, nor is the question if you should or should not persuade. The question is - How well do you persuade yourself and others? Do you persuade effectively or ineffectively? Are your persuasion attempts ethical or unethical? Are you caring and respectful when you persuade or do you try to use people to get your own way? What you cannot do is opt out of the whole persuasion enterprise.
Let’s start with your state. Even when you are just standing around minding your own business, the very state of mind, state of body, and state of emotion that you are in— influences. It influences you! Your thinking, perceiving, remembering, imagining, emoting, relating, and just about everything else about you is a function of your state and operates relative to the state you are in. This brings us back to - all persuasion is ultimately self-persuasion and the person who is hardest to persuade is you!
So, how are you at influencing your own states and being able to access the best states, the ones that are most optimal for the things that you do?
Now let’s shift and think about your relationships. Every relationship can be measured in terms of your ability to influence others— persuade them about your ideas, suggestions, needs, wants, etc. Who do you need to influence? Who would you like to influence? Persuasion is relational through and through. It’s about how you interact with others, how you treat them, how you get them to consider your ideas, how you engage in a dialogue of exchange of meanings, etc.
And because business is all about relationships— it is also all about your power to influence and persuade others. First of all, you have to persuade someone to hire you, and then to not fire you, and then to see the value that you add, and then to allow the time/resources to perform your work well etc.
The ability to persuade can also impact your satisfaction with your work and career. Without persuasion skills, you may sense that nobody listens to you, nobody cares about you, no one takes you seriously, no one gives you a chance to show what you can do.
If persuasion is inevitable, several things falls out from that. One is this— you are already persuading people. Given that, how well are you currently persuading people about your ideas, your wants and needs, etc.? What skills are you using or not using? What mental model do you have in your mind about how it works and how to use the skills? Do you like the results you are getting?
Awareness practice
A great start to gain awareness of how well you are using your persuasion capability is to invest some time over the next couple of weeks to gain awareness of where you are persuading and where you should but are not. Ask yourself the questions – how well am I doing, am I getting the results I am seeking, do people listen to me? Such self-awareness allows a person to build on strengths, identify gaps and plan to manage those gaps.