In May, the SIA are hosting a one day workshop on communication excellence which I will be facilitating.
Course Objectives
To provide a transformational communication model which will allow participants to gain insight into how they and others communicate
Identification of powerful strategies for overcoming ineffective communication patterns
Examine key strategies for effectively influencing others
The day will be highly interactive and allow those who come along to create strategies to minimise conflict and maximise their capacity to influence. Jump on the SIA website or contact them to obtain the details.
Framing for Influence
One of the topics that will be covered in the workshop is the importance of framing and how to effectively use this essential skill. The person who controls the frame governs the game. We are framing things all of the time so we may as well use it to our advantage. The following are four methods of framing that we will be exploring during the day.
Pre-framing
Politicians do this all the time. ‘This means that’. For example, ‘The fact that you have spent your heartbeats here today means that you will feel more in control of how you communicate – who would like that?’ This is a pre-frame that you could use prior to facilitating a workshop or meeting.
De-framing
De-framing is asking questions about what is being said that is vague, based on beliefs, deletions, distortions and generalisation etc. which tends to pull apart the thought construction.
Beliefs by their nature involve much generalising and vagueness, which means they lack specificity. Further they depend on their vagueness to carry the magic.
By asking questions about the deletions, distortions and generalisations and beliefs the statement is de-framed.
Re-framing
We can re-frame which is changing the meaning of something. For example, someone might say that when a certain person yells at them it means that they don’t care. In re-framing we can assist the person to consider what else this might mean thus re-framing the experience.
Out-framing
Outframing is a vertical abstraction. It leaves the prior frame of reference the same at the first level and instead goes meta and out-frames the whole context, it sits above the initial frame. It is jumping a logical level. As an example of this say a person has the following frames ‘I’ll never achieve what it is I have my heart set on. Something’s wrong with me. It must be because every time I try something new it goes wrong. I don’t feel capable so it must be true.’
Then based on this, let’s say the person draws an even higher meta-level frame of reference ‘I’ll never change, this is the way life is going to be.’
Reframing the primary level with ‘it’s not that you won’t amount to much, actually you can decide to become anything if you just put the past behind you.’ probably won’t work. This is where out-framing is required. A question such as when was the last time you tried something new could be asked. From this it may be ascertained that it was many years ago. Outframing would sound something like -
‘So, these are the ideas and beliefs you built as a young adult and then on top of that you built a belief that stuck – an ‘I can’t change belief’. Do they serve you? No. Well that’s probably the best kind of thinking that the younger you could do back then. They really reflect the thinking of a young person not a grown woman who can look back on all that and recognise them as mis-beliefs and erroneous conclusions.
Out-framing is examining what a person believes is even more important than the initial statement.
Cause and effect statements such as ‘I couldn't do x because this would cause y’ can be addressed using out-framing.